| Do you find yourself chasing happiness? I used to believe that once I got my doctoral degree—then I would be happy, when I became a professor then I would be happy, when I bought my condo—then I would be happy, when I got married—then I would be happy, when I had children—then I would be happy… While there was truth to all of these life accomplishments, the inherent problem was I was relying upon outside events to make me happy. Even the most wonderful life experiences lose their positive emotional charge over time. Perhaps you have thought that if you got more recognition or money at work, traveled to more exotic places, got in fabulous shape and had that ideal relationship—then you would be poised to find more lasting happiness. According to the data, wealth, status, fitness, relationships, often do not translate into the experience of happiness and well-being. While life circumstances can certainly play a role in happiness, today we know through the work of researchers such as Sonja Lyubomirsky that happiness is in large part a learned skill. You can actually control your happiness factor largely through the activities you choose to engage in and by the way that you interpret your experiences. In other words, much of your happiness rests upon yourmindset—the way that you perceive moment-to-moment life events. When you remind yourself about how short life can be, a certain urgency is created to find happiness, laughter and connection. The fastest way to happiness is to help another being in some meaningful way. Also, practice building your capacity for gratitude in your everyday experiences and you’ll find more joy in what you already have in your life. How do you start your day? What are your first thoughts as you lay in bed in the morning? I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts. I read them all. Also, if you have any questions I may even write a post about them. |
| With love, Randy |
How do I get myself in a healthy routine that involves others? At 61 and newly single I have experienced monumental losses (death of my younger sister, aftereffects of Ovarian Cancer, loss of friends from the divorce, moving to a new area, new therapy practice), but most disturbing has been the serious orthopedic injuries from a ski accident which limit my ability to walk, stand for more than 30 minutes and a recent re-injury to my spine from a fall which has recreated a chronic pain cycle. I used use cycling , swimming, skiing and running to quell my suffering. I now just find myself alone and in pain. I feel that all I have loved I’ve either let slip through my hands or has been taken away and I can’t find the energy to keep searching. I manage to get to work 3 days and actually help others, do some yoga at home, go to a writer’s group once a week, but am so preoccupied with the changes in my body and the pain that it’s exhausting.